Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday.'
Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday.
I tell them, a paternity suit.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents ... and only one for birthday presents, you know.
No wise man ever wished to be younger.